A Ceremony Is Not A Performance.

Over this past summer, as I worked every weekend on a wedding, I had a wonderful time getting to help produce some very different and unique weddings. That's the great thing about this job, is that you really get to try it all. You get to see what it would be like if someone actually did *that* or had *that* or managed to pull *that* off at their wedding.. and it's fun to do new things every weekend.

However.

There were a couple times this season that I noticed a little more about the different and unique ceremonies. They were more of a performance than a marriage ceremony. Either the couple was way too picky, and detailed about how they would be seen during the moments giving their vows, or they were too worried about how every little thing had to be just right.

Now let me set straight the line between a performance, and making things pretty.

Dictionary definition for performance:

per·for·mance
noun
: an activity that a person or group does to entertain an audience.

Did you see that? "Entertain.."

Now, is a marriage ceremony about entertaining an audience? I don't think so.

Dictionary definition for ceremony:

cer·e·mo·ny
noun

: a formal act or event that is a part of a social or religious occasion

: very polite or formal behavior


Now obviously, I'm a wedding planner. I out of all people understand how all the little things need to be done correctly in order for everything to be perfect. I like to make things pretty, and special. But I also am a traditionalist. And I love the incredible, powerful and emotional importance of what a wedding ceremony is about. I mean after all, the reception is a celebration for what the ceremony holds. The ceremony should be about two people coming together as one. They are giving their lives to one another, to make it one life they will live together until the day they die.

The people seated behind or around you, are there as witnesses to that vow. Because they love and care for you. Sure, the set up can be (and I think should be), pretty. And it should be special. But, it's not about performing to the guests. Doing all this confusing choreography, standing here, now there, worrying about who can see you when... They all can see you just fine, even if they only see your backs. They still know what they're watching, and understand why they are there. You, as the bride or groom, just need to focus on why YOU'RE there. What's happening in front of you and to you. Don't worry about anything else! It's about vowing a new life with that person you're holding hands with, and what the officiant is saying. Don't make it a big show. It's already an amazing show. It doesn't need more than that.

Hope that isn't too confusing. It's not always easy for me to write down what is in my head, to make sense of what I'm expressing.

Until next time..
t.